Mar 22 2010
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Resume Pet Peeves: Things to Avoid when Submitting Your Resume
As one of my final tasks at my current job, I have been given the responsibility of sorting through the responses to job postings on CareerBuilder, Doostang, Craigslist, college career sites, etc. The following is a list of things I have encountered so far that really irk me. If you want a job, do not:
- Request a send receipt. Seriously. Do you know how abrasive, obnoxious and completely unprofessional this comes across as? No I will not click “Yes,” at the prompt, but I will quietly smirk and move your resume to the rejected folder.
Resume Status: Ba-leeted. - Send your resume in a format other than PDF. It’s 2010. Do you really you not know that all published documents (including resumes) should be sent in PDF format so that people cannot change them? Are you going to send our investor reports out as Word Documents too? Also, if you aren’t going to send the document out in PDR format, it best be a Word document. Yes, .TXT’er, I’m judging you hardcore.
Resume Status: Still in the pile, but doesn’t stand out. - Send your resume as a red-lined document. This is so egregious that it warrants its own place on the list. No, you didn’t just demonstrate your superior ability to proof-read. You showed your lack of attention to detail as well as technical savvy. Nicely done.
Resume Status: Dead on Arrival. - Change the title of the position. The job post said “Executive Assistant,” not “Legal Assistant” or “Administrative Assistant.” Can you read? Or are you just throwing copies of your resume into the air and hoping one sticks? I’m going with the latter.
Resume Status: Things do not look good for Homestar Runner.
- Demonstrate a complete lack of knowledge of the company through omission. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances begin your letter like this: “Dear Hiring Manger… I really think I’d be a good fit at your company.” Whoa there, buddy. Did you just completely leave my name (on the job post) and my company’s name (also on the job post) out of your cover letter? Oh wait, you probably didn’t even look us up online either. You probably don’t even know what we do… oh wait, is that “hedge fund” in your cover letter? I called it.
Resume Status: I’ll be trying hard not to spell your name wrong when I reject you from the candidate pool. - Use the phrase “juicy bits” in your resume. No joke. Juicy bits. WTF. Enough said. Do you want me to think you are a hooker? Or just a sexual harassment waiting to happen?
Resume Status: Forwarded around the office as entertainment because it is that ridiculous. - Verify your U.S. Citizenship in your email signature. Yep. I got an email with following signature:
John Doe
U.S. Citizen
123-123-1234
jdoe@googlemail.com
Okay, Mr. Doe. We get it. The fact that you highlight your American citizenship makes me think that you either a.) are a crazy right-wing birther or b.) actually aren’t a citizen of the United States of America.
Resume Status: You creep me out, my office is conservative enough. Rejected.
So there you have it, the first seven lessons from the first 400 or so resumes I’ve reviewed. Get excited because I still have four more days!
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